Curve(

Curve(

Bandaid

I, like many other British/European persons, often wonder what a magical object called a ”band-aid’ is.

Wikipedia tells me it is in fact an american brand of what we know as ‘bandage’ or ‘plaster’.

But, when an american says band-aid to me, this image enters my head.

And then of course, you get this:

But I bet people from the US would be just as incredibly confused if I started referring to plasters… but your fantasy image probably wouldn’t be as good as mine.

Lonely Hearts Ads.

I’ve always thought it would be amusing to see what the people in the lonely heart ads in the paper were really like.

‘GSOH’ is one that always confuses me. Nearly everyone in the world has a GSOH (good sense of humour) other than Robert Mugabe, the Pope, Kim Jong Il and members of far right organisations.

But, economically speaking, if you don’t put GSOH, then people will assume that you must have less of a sense of humour than someone who does put GSOH, so you end up putting it anyway.

So people will (in theory) try to look funnier by exapnding GSOH – VGSOH, VVGSOH. Therefore, eventually ‘GSOH’ will become useless – it imparts no real information about the person or their humour because everyone uses it and it becomes a basic required courtesy (e.g. ‘yours sincerely’, ‘good morning’.)

What I would want is to narrow down SOH’s  to enable people to match their own sense of humour with someone else’s. After all, this matching is what personal ads are for.

So, GOSOH (Good observational sense of humour), GSUSOH (stand up) GSSOH (sarcastic) and possibly GKKSOH (knock knock) are all good developments on the original GSOH concept, enabling people to differentiate between potential mates – the original purpose of GSOH.

I therefore predict that at some point ‘GSOH’ will change to become more specific. Or that the concept will become entirely universal. However, there is a caveat. Personal ads require space, which costs money, and this forces prioritisation of information about yourself. Since you presumably want to match up with someone in real life, not just get them on a single date, people do have an incentive to pick qualities that are truthful and discernable, however, what I find makes GSOH unique is that it is so universal that it is unfalsifiable.

For amusement, here is what an amusingly realistic* lonely heart ad would look like for myself:

Blonde blue-eyed genius (bit of arrogance, I’m told this is attractive) early 20s who regularly attempts to be a human being (deprecation is apparently cute in british guys), enjoys going to the gym (so they know I’m not fat or unfit) and has deep interest in the weirdness that is other people (bit intriguing…). With GSSOH (look at me using my own theoretical concepts). Looking for a bubbly and happy (difficult-to-offend) female with GSOH to develop an amazing connection and spend good times (well, why else would I be doing the ad?)

*This is the censored version. The sexual stuff is probably not good for public pronouncements.

The Girlfriend

This is a cartoon written to amuse some of my friends, who tried to imagine what they would be like in a cartoon.

f

f

The Suffocating Friend in math.

So, when walking past a park with a friend… let us call her Amy (because A is the first letter of the alphabet – soon you are going to meet Ben, Chris, Dave, Elizabeth, Fred and Gertrude.)  She starts to choke. Everyone chokes, right? But then she keeps choking… and then starts to breathe strangely.

What would you be thinking at this point? Most people would be concerned for their friend, and some would begin to panic. Some on the other hand, wouldn’t give a shit. Some would make a sexual joke. Everyone’s different.

To map your decisions in an analytic way, inspired by XKCD’s ‘substitute’ sketch, I decided to turn this into a math problem.

Q1.  You are walking in the park and your friend has a heart/epileptic/diabetic/suffocating attack of some form.
They will die with a probability of 80% in exactly three minutes without medical attention.
The park is 100m square and you are at the NE corner. There is a medical centre on the SW corner.

You can run at 5m/s unencumbered, or 1m/s carrying her. If you are at the Med Centre you acquire a Doctor. The Doctor will treat your friend w/ 90% success as soon as he is in contact with her. The Doctor is old. He only runs at 2m/s.
Leaving your friend worries her, her survival decreases by 10%.

Alternatively, you can call an ambulance, which will be coming from Guys hospital, 1.5 road miles away. The ambulance travels at 30mph on a good day (p = 0.5) and 15mph on a bad day (p = 0.5). The ambulance begins as soon as you choose to call. The ambulance has a 97% chance of saving your friend as soon as it reaches her. Calling the ambulance also worries your friend, her survival decreases by 10%.
Find the most efficient solution in terms of likelihood of survival of your friend.
If you don’t… well, the three minutes start now. MOVE! FOR GOD’S SAKE DO SOMETHING!
(15 marks)
Q2.  Does your answer change if this was set in 1980?
[hint: consider the effects of technological change on the scenario]
(5 marks)

Q3.  The area is now infested with zombies. The 8 zombies start at the centre of the park, and move out by 20m in the compass directions (N, NNW, NW, NWW, etc) at 1m/s.

They then head for you in straight lines at 1m/s, and can change direction every 1m to keep track of you. If a zombie gets within 2m of you, you must fight it off. This takes 20 seconds and with (p=0.05) you get injured and all your future movement is halved. Because of the zombies, the ambulance is always on a ‘bad day’.
Map the best route.
(30 marks)
If you work this last one out you get a medal. (Although it is possible using a fairly basic diagram, a ruler and some counters/coins)

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

I absolutely disagree with the implications of this title.